What a spectacular day! My younger daughter and I reached the campus about 8:45 am. We went into the office to sign in and get our name badges. We waited there a few minutes, with other families, to be escorted to the house. The 'house' is a term used by the school. It is a general meeting building. The students spend a good part of their day in and around the house. As we entered the house we could hear the students clapping and cheering us on. It added to all the excitement we all felt to see our children. My daughter just about ran me down. We held onto each other for quite sometime. Then my two daughters hugged and cried together. We hugged and said hello to my daughter's big sisters as well. It was a wonderful welcome.
We sat and talked with the girls' and their families for quite sometime. The girls' told us stories of what was happening with them and we told them what was happening with us. We had a lot of laughs. It came time for presents. We brought presents from the whole family and she was thrilled with everything. After gifts were opened there was one more gift up on stage. It was covered by a sheet. This gift is for all of the students and it is from their science teacher. He was sick and could not attend the festivities. One of the students and the athletic coach stood up and read his letter. The story was told of a man that goes way beyond the expectations of a science teacher. We were told how he would be at the house during the day and would spend time talking and helping out all of the kids. By the time the letter was done being read there wasn't a dry eye among the staff or students. I have to say that I feel all the staff plays the same type of role with all the students. I couldn't have picked a better place for my daughter to get help.
The gift was unveiled and it was a 54" Flat Screen TV and a beautiful wooden base that he had someone make for the TV. It was an incredible present. We were told how he continually invested in the school to help make things better for the students and staff. Two of the students had put together a slide show of this teacher and showed it on the new TV. It was an awesome presentation. When all was said and done my daughter's and I decided to play Rummikub a gift my daughter received from Santa. One of my daughter's classmates was watching as we started to play. We asked him to join in the fun. I didn't realize how difficult it was to try and explain all the different ways to place your tiles. My youngest daughter won and I lost. I had the most points at the end of the game. After the game was over we had appetizers. The food was very good and never ending. The whole day was just great.
My daughter and I did spend some time talking about some of her issues. I realized over the last few months that there are a lot more things to deal with than just drugs and alcohol. They are only part of what is going on in her life. She has a lot of things to overcome before she can feel she can be happy without drugs or alcohol. Right now she can't believe by just talking about her issues that she is going to be able to live without alcohol when she graduates. I feel for her insecurities and wish I had the magic words that made everything click. She is still in the beginning stages of her rehabilitation though. I firmly believe the program and the people I have entrusted with my daughter's future is the best decision I ever made. I just feel extremely thankful that she wants to discuss these issues with me. A year ago she would walk away every time I tried to say anything. She now brings things up and looks to me for my care and concern for how she is feeling and what she is going through.
It now came time to say our goodbyes. This is the part none of us like, but my daughter is planning on bringing up for another off-campus visit in the next couple of weeks. Knowing that we are going to see her within the next month makes saying goodbye a little easier. We also know in the next few months, she will be starting track, so we will see her more often. We have things to look forward to now and that makes everything a lot easier. After taking a few more pictures and saying goodbye to my daughter's big sisters, it was time to give one last hug and kiss. It was difficult on all of us, but it was also wonderful to have that time with her. I couldn't ask for a better day.
Hello Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI have just finished reading all your postings. Congratulations to you and both your daughters.
The journey is not over for any of you, but you have all learned to deal with the emotional roller coaster and somehow found the strength to "stay the course" through graduation.
I have been in your shoes in many ways, so I truly understand the agony and the ecstacy, and have a profound respect for you all.
Elan, just as any program, cannot guarantee success. That is up to the student. However, I still thank God to this day that Elan was there for us... to offer hope, provide a healing growing environment, and save a life that was most precious to my husband and me.
My youngest stepdaughter also made the difficult decision to stay at Elan through graduation.
Just proving to herself that she could truly finish something positive was a vital step.
Just so you know, she has since gone on to college, graduated with her 4-year degree with academic honors, and now pursues post-graduate studies.
Don't ever stop believing. The tough love of parents and the entire Elan team help young people turn those dark days of despair into bright futures. Again, there are no guarantees, but with Elan there is hope... finally.
I liked reading how you tell your daughter that you love her and are proud of her. I have never met you, but I am very, very proud of you, too.
Cathy Martin
Leslie, thank you for sharing your story both the good and the bad. I really appreciate the information as we try to figure out how to best deal with our daughter's 'challenging' behavior.
ReplyDeleteBernard
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience. I also agree that Elan is saving my child's life. I did not think I was going to have much of a life with my daughter, even at the age of 14. What I have seen over the last 10 months is astounding. We are going to have our arguments and she is going to be disgusted with me at times, but it is much better than not having her in my life at all. I am so thankful and grateful that Elan is there for my family.
Bernard,
ReplyDeletePlease write to me at lnarhuminti@roadrunner.com at any time. Even if you decide Elan is not the program for your daughter, I would like to help. This was the toughest time of my life and even with all the support from friends and family, I still felt all alone. It really helps to talk to people that understand what you are feeling. I am glad my story is giving you some help with your situation.
Thank-you,
Leslie